By Anne Murungi
About a hundred years ago, there would probably have been no reason to write this article; it was seen as unethical and highly immoral. However, in our time, a woman having an affair with a married man is almost normal. Women, younger single ladies especially have a trend of dating married men, and many see little or no wrong in it. I read a thread online, and saw different views about dating a married man; many saw no wrong in it and gave accounts on how it led to marriage, while many also criticised the act. There are many reasons why having an affair with a married man is unethical but here are just seven of them.
HE MADE A VOW
First of all, ethics and morals are called into question here. A married man has made a vow before God, men and his partner, and vows are not mere wishful sayings. So if he’s professed love to you and wants you in his life then let him at least file for divorce with his wife; other than that, you’re either being manipulated or a participant in home wrecking.
YOU’RE PROBABLY BEING USED
Like I mentioned in the first tip, you’re probably being used in the affair. A man might love his wife and wouldn’t want to lose her, but secretly have other women to fulfill his sexual fantasies and load them with lies of love and affection. Guess what? You just might belong to that list.
YOU COULD JUST BE WASTING YOUR TIME
Time is precious really, and wasted time can never be regained. If you’re in such an affair with a married man who’s just in it for the fun of it, you would end up losing probably months or years of your life in a dirty relationship with no present and definitely no future.
YOU DON’T HAVE YOUR MAN ALL TO YOURSELF
What’s the need of dating a man who technically isn’t your man? What’s the need of being with a man who you have to share with someone else? You don’t have a right to him, you can’t be with him whenever and definitely wherever; you definitely can’t see him when you want to and spending nights with you would mean telling a lie to his wife. This brings me to the next tip.
YOUR RELATIONSHIP IS BUILT ON FALSE PREMISES
A relationship with a married man is built around false premises; lies, deceit, unfaithfulness and a host of other negatives. Even if there is a future in that relationship, I wonder what would become of it. One thing is definitely sure: trust won’t be totally assured in the relationship.
SECRECY ISN’T ANY FUN
A secret relationship can be quite exhausting; you can’t walk freely with your man and introduce him freely as your man. In general terms, you can’t live as every other normal couple.
IT’S ALWAYS A DANGEROUS GAME
Having an affair with a married man is always a dangerous game; you risk the wrath of a hurt wife. Also, it’s a conformable situation for the man, but the woman has everything to lose if things go sideways. Her reputation definitely as society would hit out more at her; a man who’s probably eating his cake and having it is another risk that comes to play in such situations. Many ladies are also easily deceived; he’s spending loads of money on you, showering you with expensive gifts and the rest of it cannot be truly called love. It could just be a means to an end; he’s probably fueling your greed into loving and accepting him without him having to commit further than that. There is rarely any good that can come out of having an affair with a married man, and even though it has the possibility of leading to the altar, it doesn’t justify the act.